Dredged Up Emotions

Emotions dredged up
Into the light
To be reviewed yet again
Leave me drained
Of any care to
Who I am
Where I come from
What I value.

Where’s a key to lock
Away thoughts of
Unworthiness, disgust
Self-despise, inabilities
Self-doubt, gut wrenching
Imagined anxieties
Unnecessary for living.

A wish to just be
For negativity
Inescapable despite
Attempts and attempts
To disassociate myself:

That is not me
I am a happy person
I try to laugh often
GO AWAY HATEFUL VOICE!

Embracing those degrading
Thoughts without judging
Easier said than done
When scratched CDs
Repeat in endless loops.

Today is now
Now is not yesterday
Nor is it tomorrow
To live here, now
Is my endless struggle
When ugly demons
Raise their heads tauntingly.